Me and Patrick. Finally have someone else to attest to how perfect he is. Just ask Heather.


Me and Kevin. I <3 him. I'm his BWF.. best woman forever.


Me and Heather, my bff.

We had an amazing Valentine's day weekend. :)

One Word!

USING ONLY ONE WORD! It's not as easy as you might think! Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It's really hard to only use one word answers. Be sure to tag the person you received it from!

1. Where is your cell phone? desk

2. Your significant other? dunno

3. Your hair? brown

4. Your mother? angela

5. Your father? james

6. Your favorite? both

7. Your dream last night? none

8. Your favorite drink? margarita

9. Your dream/goal? happiness

10. What room you are in? bedroom

11. Your hobby? sports

12. Your fear? snakes

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? maine

14. Where were you last night? work

15. Something that you aren't? boy

16. Muffins? chocolate

17. Wish list item? sleep

18. Where you grew up? alamo

19. Last thing you did? flossed

20. What are you wearing? pajamas

21. Your TV? off

22. Your pets? sleeping

23. Friends? awesome

24. Your life? good

25. Your mood? tired

26. Missing someone? yes

27. Car? corolla

28. Something you're not wearing? glasses

29. Your favorite store? borders

30. Your favorite color? green

33. When is the last time you laughed? earlier

34. Last time you cried? today

35. Who will resend this? blah

36. One place that I go to over and over? school

37. One person who texts me regularly? Heather

38. My favorite place to eat? Mexican

Some days, like today, life is just too much.

I'm going to bed early. My head is pounding far too much to stay up any longer.

Some random things since I'm bored, not really tired and don't want to go to sleep early in fear of waking up before 10:

I keep having the same dream. It's a good dream, but I don't want to have it b/c as much as I wish it'd come true, it'll never come true.

I haven't listened to Josh Groban in like a month. Just realized it when I saw my LJ banner. Weird.

I'm redoing my phonics/reading schedule at school. I'm changing it up completely and I'm very excited about it. We'll see how the kids handle it though.. one student in particular.

Heather and my twinness strikes again. We both have sinus infections and both of our top teeth hurt. It's literally freaky when this happens to us and it happens quite frequently. No joke.

Speaking of which, 12 (well almost 11) days till she comes to Texas. I need these next two weeks to fly by.

The new Fray CD I preordered was shipped and I should get it either Monday or Tuesday. I haven't been this excited about a CD in a very long time. If it's anything like their new single, "you found me" it's gonna be amazing.

I'm over the Patrick thing.. whatever it was.

I'm not even one bit excited for the Super Bowl tomorrow and it surprises me to say that.

The Red Wings are on a losing streak and it depresses me.

I'm having the inclusion class next year and I know I should be scared about having all the special ed kids, but I'm actually pretty excited.

My aunt and uncle got facebook. I find this highly disturbing/annoying and I feel so bad for my cousins.

I cannot stop coughing. My head and chest is all congested. Allergy medicine and mucinex don't seem to be working.. at least not yet. Ugh. I told someone during break that give it only 2-3 weeks into teaching, and I'd be sick again. Sure enough. I"m so tired of the coughing fits. My mom thinks I may have bronchitis. I cough to the point where I feel like I'm going to throw up or faint. Ergggggg!

Tonight on the way to dinner I thought about why I didn't meet Patrick years ago instead of a few months ago. As soon as the thought crossed my mind and I pondered it, "Unanswered Prayers" came on the radio immediately. I mean not even 30 seconds after I had the thought. I laughed at the irony (and inevitably a sign) and then I cried. If you haven't read the lyrics or heard the song, you need to. It's the song I will dance with Kevin to at my wedding if I ever get married.

After dinner my mom and I did some shopping and then went to help my grandpa with my grandma. She's not doing well and is getting progressively worse. It was hard sitting there listening to my grandma cry out of pain and frustration and watching my mom and grandpa deal with it. It's just too much and my grandpa isn't willing to get much help, but he needs it. He can't lift my grandma and she keeps falling. She complains of pain all the time and can't move much. Her brain is shutting down and she forgets to walk when she stands, if she's able to stand at all. But in all of that, my grandpa is truly a saint. He built her a ramp so that her wheel chair can get out of the den since there is a small step. He has it figured out where she can manuever with her walker and wheel chair. He has extra bendy straws cut to the exact height she likes in a cup by her bed. It's just wonderful to see how much he loves his wife. To be with someone for over 50 years and struggle each day to keep them comfortable and as happy as they can be when they're obviously miserable is true heart and love. I just can't imagine.

I'm going to sleep early. I feel miserable and my cousin is coming over at 7:30. Oh joy.

The gap between the rich and the poor in this country astounds me. It's very apparent in my school. I have those rich kids that have more than they'll ever need. But I also teach kids who haven't taken a bath in days. I teach kids who scarf down their lunches because they're lucky if they get to eat dinner at night. I teach kids who see guns and deal with (and often times witness) violence on a regular basis. Not every child is blessed with a good home, positive role model parents, and enough resources to live a comfortable life. I'm tired of people acting as if they're entitled to the world when there are people who have next to nothing. Just because people don't have jobs doesn't mean they're necessarily lazy or aren't hard workers. I'm not saying there aren't some lazy people out there, but I know plenty of poor people who work hard and try their best to work hard to support their children. They rarely get any credit though. And it pisses me off. Life isn't always roses and butterflies. Life is never black and white. Life is 500x shades of gray. I refuse to see life as black and white, and I don't want to surround myself with those people that do.

I had one kid tell me he never wants to leave school. I've heard it before from some of the other kids, but I was NOT expecting it from this one. He gets aggravated at me all the time so I was pleasantly surprised he said that. Then of course all the other kids chimed in telling me they want to live at school with me and sleepover. I felt bad b/c I love going home every day. BUT I loving going to work in the mornings. I just need some me time to recharge.

I volunteered to help tutor children after school for TAKS. Well, I get paid but I didn't do it for the money. I'll probably donate the money to the PTA or the school. I also found out I get the inclusion class next year and will go observe a student I will have next year sometimes in the next few weeks. My principal said not to freak out and I laughed. It'll be a challenge for sure, but I'm honored she feels I can handle that challenge and responsibility my 3rd year of teaching. My masters teaching buddies can't get over it and my professor said "really?? already??" hahaha!

My friend Chris (from college) put a link on his facebook status about how the American education system has failed and I commented asking if he wanted a list of reasons why. He just texted me back with,  "I know any of your students wouldn't turn out to be such atrocities!" I heart him. :)

p.s. I had NO idea rascal flatts has a new cd coming out! I got an email with their new single in it and it's amazing like always. April 7th. WOOHOO!!!

I am soooooo proud of As the World Turns.

That is all.

I have 30 minutes to kill before Brothers and Sisters. I'm so tired from this weekend but I want to see a Kevin-centered ep so badly that I'm going to force myself to stay wake. About time my favorite Walker gets some lovin'.

Saw Lifehouse Friday night and it was AMAZING! I mean they were awesome last time when I heard them from outside the venue and saw them through the bushes but this time I had a clear view. Jason Wade is just beautiful. I love my Josh Groban, but Jason Wade just gets so into his performances. Granted, I've never seen Josh but still. You can just tell how emotionally invested Jason is into his music. I swear he wanted to cry during "from where you are." And Simon and Broken.. just don't get me started. Just flawless!

Saturday morning was training but that's too boring to talk about. Saturday night I headed up to Austin to hang with Kevin, Katie and Patrick. We went to see Curious Case of Benjamin Button which was AMAZING! Best movie I've seen in a long time. It had so many profound quotations that I looked them up immediately after getting home tonight. We came back to Kevin's apartment, watched some more movies and chatted until about 3am. This morning we slept in, had pancakes, watched the American President then went on a hike in the 48 degree cold. I only brought flip flops since it was 85 and humid yesterday. Didn't think to check today's weather. Whoops! Luckily I brought sweats and my feet weren't cold as we started walking. We came to this one part where there were some large rocks surrounded part of the stream and it was just beautiful. We all sat there in silence for a good 10 minutes. Definitely one of those perfect moments. Then we had a late lunch and I headed back to SA.

Now I'm at home and definitely experiencing the "day after Christmas" feeling yet again. I hate it. I hate that I finally find the most perfect guy, but the timing is probably wrong. Whoever said it's all about timing was right. This sucks.

My favorite quotation from Curious Case of Benjamin Button was, "We are defined by opportunites even the ones we miss."

I can't get over how true this is. Most of the defining moments of my life are the ones that were missed opportunities. I hope this doesn't become another one.

Thank goodness I get to see the smiling faces of my beatiful students tomorrow. Sometimes a reality check is a blessing.

Just saw Lifehouse live and get to see Patrick tomorrow.

How am I supposed to sleep?

I know I'm biased with my love for gay man Anderson Cooper (I have a whole shelf dedicated to him in my living room) but this is damn right FUNNY!



p.s. I just can't get over how cute his laugh/giggle is.

I totally thought my NYE would totally be lame since I'm at home for the 24th straight row (yeah I'm lame like that) but it's been pretty fun.

Mom brought home live lobster so we cooked them and ate them.. yummy!!

For the last two hours, I've been watching Anderson Cooper's New Year's Eve special on CNN and I'm more in love than ever. He's so gosh darn adorable I can't stand it. He randomly goes off on geography lessons and shows off his intellect. Thud. His co host is Kathy Griffin and at first I didn't like them together but they're hilarious. She has been touching him and he is so awkward that I burst out laughing. He always makes fun of his laugh, but I think it's the cutest thing ever. I told Heather I'm coming to visit her next year for New Years and if Anderson does his Times Square thing again, we are sooo going to stalk him!

Ok.. I gotta go make a vodka tonic before midnight. Then it's sleep and I'm setting an alarm so I can make sure to be up for the pre show of the Winter Classic game.. MY RED WINGS ARE PLAYING!! In wrigley field in chicago. Everyone should watch! GO RED WINGS!

p.s. the best thing about tonight was Kathy asking Anderson to name the jonas brothers b/c they were playing behind them. Anderson said he had no idea. Oh my love for him sky rocketed! I'm so glad they didn't show their horrible perfomance on CNN. Kathy made fun of their purity rings. I lmao! 

A friend did this on facebook and I was bored so here you go :P


20 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me

1. I will not eat ketchup. Just the sight of it makes me nauseous, but I love tomatoes.

2. I don't really like animals. Most of them scare me. I do love my dogs and belugas though.

3. One of my biggest regrets brought me one of my greatest blessings.

4. I've seen Titanic at least 10 times and still have the movie poster in my room at my parents house.

5. My favorite place to be is in front of the Castle at Walt Disney World. No where else compares.

6. I think guys who read and love Jane Austen are really attractive. Have only met two guys who do.

7. I think about moving to Boston or back to Dallas daily.

8. "Don't cry, Shopgirl, don't cry." is my favorite movie quotation.

9. I have a secret that only one friend knows.. Jenny, my bff from high school.

10. I love hockey more than most things in life. My favorite memories were going to the Dragons games back in middle school when I first got into hockey.

11. I hate the holidays.

12. YouTube is my favorite website. It's pure genius.

13. I read the last line of books first.

14. I once did a fast for 3 days where all I ate/drank was water, juice and broth.

15. Just once I want a guy to choose me.. not my best friend, not my roommate... me.

16. On top of my list of things to do before I die is to learn how to ballroom dance.

17. Airports and airplanes make me emotional. No matter where I'm going or for what reason, I always get teary-eyed.

18. I eat cereal dry. No milk.

19. My arms and shoulders tense badly when I get stressed.

20. The question that preys on me is not, "what if it doesn't work out?" but rather "what if it does?"

My school is in a weird part of the city. Half of the population is pretty well off (middle class at least) and the other half is pretty poor. 8 out of my 17 students' parents are on food stamps. It definitely makes for an interesting group of kids and fascinating with how they relate and interact with one another.

Our school sells blow pops for 25 cents for random fundraisers. This last time was by the PTA for our school's giving tree. They've been selling them for awhile now but on random days so the kids (and teachers) never know when the blow pops will be sold.

I have one student who has very little, but will bring in a dollar every once in awhile and he holds onto it like it's gold. He'll use it as lunch money to buy an occasional ice cream in addition to his lunch. The other day he brought a dime and asked if it was enough for a blow pop. I regretfully told him no. The next day he brought a penny and asked if that was enough. Again, I had to let him down and told him he needed 25 pennies. So today he came in with 25 pennies. But were they selling blow pops? Of course not. He was heartbroken and I was heartbroken for him. This is his second year with me and I know him pretty well so I knew this blowpop meant the world to him and for the third day in a row, he was disappointed. I looked him in the eye and told him to put the 25 pennies back into his backpack and promised him he would get a blow pop tomorrow. I made sure to get some blow pops on my way home today.

Money has never been an issue for me growing up. Both my parents worked, which allowed my brother and I to have everything we needed. I recently found out my grandmother has a lot of money. But it's days like these that keep me humble, keep me grounded. For the rest of my life, I'll never forget the look on his disappointed face as he clutched onto 25 pennies in his small hand as if they were worth the world.

Random things about today:

~the kids were AWFUL. all of kinder really. every kinder teacher put on a video for the last 30 minutes of the day b/c the kids were that rowdy.

~had our staff holiday party tonight

~had the best quacamole at the staff party. Patty put the lemon juice from one lemon, garlic powder, onion powder and salt. that's my kind of quacamole.

~there was a huge margarita machine that made fabulous margaritas. i only had one b/c i was driving.

~it was actually kind of lonely since there was only one other woman there without a date. sigh.

~but then it got hilarious with all of the innuendos, gossip and story telling. i felt like i was back in college. :)

~had another staff member tell me i'm doing an awesome job. she complimented me for a good 5 minutes which was definitely reconfirming. i love all the positive feedback i am getting this year.

~it's freakin' freezing outside. I HATE HATE HATE cold weather. my feet and hands are always cold. i finally bust out the little heather i have. tonight i'm doing the little room heather AND the heating blanket. is it summer yet?

Oh glorious sleep. I hope I get at least 10 hours. Sweet dreams.

Today during our phonics lessons, I referred to something we were doing as a "piece of cake." All of the kids were like "what are you talking about miss R?!" They were very confused b/c what I was doing obviously had nothing to do with cake. Sweet Emma asked me what "A piece of cake" means and I explained it to them. Later during centers I heard a student refer to their activity as a "piece of cake" and I couldn't stop laughing. Especially when all the kids started using it. Too funny.

I don't even know where to begin. Just never felt like this before. Not sure whether to smile or cry. Have these new feelings and just not sure what to do with them.

He's just perfect. When I embarrass myself, he always makes it a point to turn it positive or make me feel better about it so I'm not embarrassed. He laughs at my jokes and even brings them up randomly hours later and still laughs. I don't think anyone has done this before. Pretty neat since I've never considered myself a funny person. He's so easy to talk to and that with guys has never been my strong suit. When we're alone together I always end up telling him stories from my past that no one really knows about. Last night Kevin and Katie wanted to ride go carts and I wasn't up for it and Patrick stayed back too so we ended up sitting on some bleachers around the track. It was dark, super cold and my Red Wings were losing pretty badly, but it was the best time I've had in awhile. I don't have to be anyone but myself when I'm around him because he's proven that even when I do something stupid or embarrassing, I know he'll make me feel okay about it when most people would probably just tease me. And he admitted Josh Groban has a good voice and that no one should criticize me for liking him. Thud.

Buttttt he said he's probably going to Dallas for med school. He said he's gotten acceptances from two Texas schools and still hasn't heard from my city's school. He did say he is keeping his options open, but he sounded confident about going to Southwestern. Sigh. :( I told Carol and the first thing she said was that she has a free bedroom in her house and that I can stay for free. She also reminded me that she doesn't live very far from Dallas. LOL! If it's meant to be, it'll be.

Also heard from my two Chris's this weekend. Haven't heard from SW Chris in months so I ignored him. If he's going to ignore me for at least half a year, he doesn't deserve a response from me. I deserve better than that.. esp after hanging out with Patrick, who would never treat me like Chris has. I had beer at SW and actually enjoyed it so I texted my college Chris b/c he always wanted me to drink beer. He texted me back this morning and it was such a great text. He told me he missed me. Sigh.

I haven't seen my students in 10 days.Feels like a month! I miss them. I'm ready to head back to work... just not looking forward to all the stacks of paper left in my classroom. I need to get up and get there early to clean before the kids come. I'm going to be so happy when the kids run down the hallway telling me how much they missed me. It always happens even if I've only been out half a day. So cute! :)

Apparently on 60 minutes, there is a feature where Anderson Cooper races Michael Phelps in swimming. I sure hope Anderson wins! :P

Today has been a fantastic day! Slept in, finished cleaning my apartment, bought Lady Antebellum tickets, ran some errands, cuddled with my puppy, babysat my grandma while my grandpa got some dental work done, and ran some errands. While I was at HEB, I had a run in with a gorgeous guy about my age. I tried to sneak around his basket but as soon as I did, he started moving so he stopped to let me go through. But then I stopped to let him go, we both paused and then at the same time moved to go. I was smiling so big and definitely blushing. I saw him again at the check out lines and I could  not help myself.. I had to stare. I kept looking away so he wouldn't notice me. He looked like a younger version of Jason Thompson. Yes.. that good looking.

The guy at the ticket box office was also quite cute. I was wearing one of my college shirts and he asked if I went there, told him yes and he said he has a friend that goes there. It was a nice short chat. I realized that I also wore this shirt when the random guy came up and told me I was really pretty at Walmart a few weeks ago. This is definitely my lucky shirt. I need to wear it out more often. Come to think of it.. I should wear it on Saturday! ;)

When I was leaving HEB, Heather called asking me if I could take off the day before Valentine's Day and I said sure! SHE'S FLYING DOWN!!!!!!! I am so damn uber excited! We're going to the Lady A concert together.. eeeeeeeee! Is it February 12th yet? Scratch that. I want it to be Saturday first.

I just saw an article on Yahoo about the "biggest calorie culprits" at Thanksgiving. Oh get off it, nutritionists. It's Thanksgiving for crying out loud.. it's the one day we can stuff our faces with whatever we want and not feel guilty. Well, we can feel guilty when we have stomach aches, but that is what naps are for!

My mom always works on Thanksgiving so we usually eat lunch at her hospital, but she's not working this year. I'm kind of bummed b/c my mom's hospital makes my favorite stuffing. Believe me.. I've tried a lot of stuffing but her hospital is my favorite. I know it's crazy but it's sooo yummy! So I get to eat Thanksgiving feast with my dad's side which shall prove interesting after the drama with my cousin and the fact that it's the first Thanksgiving without my grandpa. Gosh, I hope there aren't tears. I should dig out our football so the cousins can play football.. that always puts everyone in a good mood. Or I'll tell student stories since they're always good for a laugh. Oh wait.. grandma said she bought 2 or 3 bottles of champagne. Lucky for me only me, my grandma and my aunt drink it.. wooo! (haha makes me think of HIMYM)

Oh the Naked Man. if you don't watch HIMYM, you should. You're definitely missing out.

Time to go eat Mexican food with the fam. Happy Thanksgiving!

I've decided I'm never going to watch the Red Wings on Yahoo anymore b/c every time I do they lose like last night for example. They're  always winning when I turn it on but then it goes downhill quickly. The Red Wings have only lost 3 times this year and I've seen every loss. Sadness.

I simply adore the show, Eli Stone. It's my new Everwood but just like Everwood, it got the ax. I'm crushed. I'm very bitter toward ABC, Disney and the American public about it. It's a fantastic show that has a heart and morals. Our country could use more shows like it.. just like Everwood. But I'll get off my soap box now.

Today I spent most of the day with my grandma. We made cookies, did some shopping/errands, ate lunch at Chili's and talked. Found out the scoop on the family especially the cousins. That's always interesting to hear, that's for sure. We even talked about politics. It's funny how ever since Grandma found out I'm a democrat, we talk about politics a lot. We never did before she found out, but now that we've talked about it a lot, I realize she's more open minded than I originally thought. Or at least puts up a good front for me.. something I appreciate since my dad isn't capable of it. We had a nice talk about abortion today. Gotta love deep controversial topics at 2pm on a Tuesday.

We also talked about love and relationships since my cousin is really struggling with it lately. She's not making good choices and falling into the trap of falling for the wrong guys. I told my grandma that I rather be alone my whole life than deal with unhealthy and/or abusive relationships. I told her that a huge part of me doesn't think being in a relationship is what I envision for my life and she's the first person to just tell me flat out, "and that's okay." I've waited years and years for someone to tell me that. When I do bring up the courage to tell someone, "I don't think it's meant for me" they either pacify me or feel sorry for me. I know they're doing it to make me feel better or because they geninuely think it, but either way.. I don't want to hear it. I just want to hear what I want is okay.

Switching subjects completely, I just read an article about the top 10 places to travel to in 2009. Most of them are exotic places, but I was shocked when I read that Austin, TX is number 2. Seriously?! Out of all the places you can travel to on this earth, Austin is number 2?! Nothing against Austin or anything.. I have fun when I'm there, but wow.

I'm bummed my shows aren't on tonight, but I think I'll use the opportunity to read another book. I read one last night and this morning but I was pretty disappointed with it. Hopefully the next one will be better.  I've cleaned and decorated my room and living room. All that is left is the kitchen and bathroom.. the two not fun rooms. I'm movitated though b/c I'm having guests Saturday night.... eee! I'm more excited than I probably should be.

Tonight has been the best night in awhile. Funny to say when my tonsils are the sizes of small strawberries. Dad had tennis so he brought home Henry's puffy tacos. Haven't had them in awhile.. yummy! Heather went to the Lady Antebellum concert tonight and we texted all night. She even called during one of the songs and I could hear the band perfectly. She even admitted she loves Lady A more than the Revs and Jimmy Conrad combined. I mean WOW! They must have been freakin' amazing for her to say THAT! Then, she got to meet Charles, her sexy number one man (I can safely say that now.. Jimmy has been tethroned.. sad day for the Jimster.) She called me immediately afterwards and it was hlarious! She was rambling, going crazy and trying to catch her breath. I know the feeling. I had a very similiar moment earlier.

A few days ago Heather's sister sent me a package of a signed picture of Anderson Cooper and his memoir. I almost hypervinilated when I opened it and saw his handsome face and my name next to it. THUD. I loved the picture of him on his book, but didn't go through it. Wanted to wait until break to read it. Well, tonight I pulled out Anderson Cooper's book and opened the first few pages to read while I waited for Grey's. My mom was upstairs talking on the phone to her brother while I was downstairs in the kitchen. I opened three pages and discovered Anderson had signed the book too!  I high tailed it up stairs squealing. I ran up into my mom's room waving the book in the air making a lot of noise! I make my mom put down the phone and read what he wrote then she explained it to my uncle. Then I collapsed on her bed out of sheer exhaustion b/c I haven't moved that fast since before strep. I have had zero energy but Anderson definitely brought some out. When my mom got off the phone, she came downstairs laughing at me. It was priceless. I've read 34 (aww my number) pages and I'm more in love with him than ever. He is a really good writer, which makes me admire him even more. Gosh, why do all the gay guys have to be so perfect?

Then I watched Grey's and Owen and Christina had such a cute moment that I squealed some more. Then during a commercial they had a preview for LOST and I knew immediately that the song in the background was by the Fray and it was a new song so I immediately jumped up and down again squealing. I grabbed for my iphone to google the vid/song. I found that it's on their site and it is AMAZING! But I mean of course it is.. it IS the Fray. I flove everyone song off their first album. The first album will always make me think of Chris, but I will always love their first album. I preordered their second, self-titled, album that comes out Feb 3rd! If you preorder by Dec 1st, you get a booklet, a 90 minute dvd and 4 post cars all for 20 bucks! Definitely not bad.

Lady Antebellum is coming to SA on Valentine's Day, which is on a Saturday and so I told Heather. She immediately told me she'd fly out to see them with me (since they're so amazing live). I got really excited but told myself not to be, but she seems pretty serious and after talking to her on the phone, I know she is serious. How awesome would that be.. get to see them live with Heather! She told me on the phone.. "then Charles can be my Valentine.. *pause* and you of course!" buhaha!

Man.. just too much excitement when  I have no energy. Now I feel like I'm going to pass out from exhaustion. My throat doesn't really hurt per say but it's incredibly uncomfortable having my tonsils so big. I'm just blessed that it's nothing like the last time I had strep.

Ok.. it's time to dwelve back into Anderson's life. Gosh I love him.